"Cadence" In Tandem Coaching's Newsletter
Web: http://www.InTandemCoaching.com
Email: mailto:JoanneH@intandemcoaching.com
Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/intandem
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Note from Joanne
Hello
I’m going camping again! Earlier this summer I camped
in Flagstaff for a couple of nights to accompany my
husband, Alexander, while he participated in a
mountain bike race. It was also a test-run (in my
case) for a longer camping vacation. You see, I’m not
an enthusiastic camper (at least not yet). I prefer
spas, resorts and Bed & Breakfasts. Alexander loves to
camp, so I’m broadening my horizons and doing it “his”
way this time. Who knows, maybe I will develop some
enthusiasm for camping by trip’s end!
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Feature Article
It’s Your Choice – Hand-Wringing or Strategizing
My youngest sister once told me (very insightfully)”
“Face it, Jo; you’re not happy unless you have
something to worry about. Once one worry is resolved,
you just find something else to worry about.”
She was absolutely right; I had to laugh at her
observation. However it took someone else to point
this out to me before I realized how much I let worry
consume me. It was my habitual response to the
unknown. I also realized that I did not want to
maintain this habit anymore. Now, my older and much
wiser self has found a better way, a better habit
(although I do backslide from time to time) – I turn
my worry into a concern.
What’s the Difference?
"There is a great difference between worry and
concern. A worried person sees a problem, and
a concerned person solves a problem." ~ Harold
Stephens
Both concern and worry are perspectives about an event
or circumstance taking place in the future. They both
answer the question: What if…? It’s in the answer to
this question that we can discern between concern and
worry. If the answer includes a strategy, plan of
action or other structure that reduces fear or
tension, it is concern. Heightened awareness without
the burden of fear or dread is also evidence of
concern. Worry is characterized by an answer to the
“what if?” question that consists of dread, doom, or
endless mental replaying of worst-case scenarios.
As the quotation above suggests, a perspective of
concern leads you toward a solution. A perspective of
worry leads you to more worry and stress, as you wring
your hands helplessly.
Why do We Worry So Much?
I’m going to make some blanket statements here; maybe
they are true for you, maybe not. The point is for you
to consider the possibilities and help you identify
your sources of worry.
We worry because we mistakenly believe that we are
“doing something” to prevent, delay or ameliorate an
undesired outcome. In reality, the only thing that
worry is “doing” is expending needless mental and
emotional energy. The outcome is not affected by your
worry.
"It only seems as if you are doing something
when you're worrying." ~Lucy Maud Montgomery
We worry because we have made it a habitual response,
or coping mechanism. In this case, we do it
automatically, without forethought.
We worry because we are (or were originally) getting
some kind of payoff from it. The payoff isn’t always
obvious, but I can guarantee you, it’s there. Look for
the payoff (either something you gain or something you
avoid/lose by worrying) and see if you can find other
ways to get that payoff.
We worry because we lack trust, either in ourselves,
our spiritual belief system (whatever that may be), or
both. In other words, we don’t know for sure that
“everything is going to be OK” and we are extremely
uncomfortable with that uncertainty. (I don’t know
about you, but I meet many introverts who have a
strong need for clarity/certainty. There’s nothing
wrong with needing clarity; the problem is we often
look for it in the wrong places.)
Future vs. Present
Note that both concern and worry are perspectives that
focus on the future. As a coach, I encourage my
clients to focus on the present. Although changing
your perspective from worry to concern will empower
you, you can further empower yourself by shifting
focus to the NOW.
Making the Shift
I propose this two-step process:
1. Shift from worry (hand-wringing) to concern
(planning/strategizing). Some questions to get you
started:
* What specific outcome(s) are you imagining?
* How likely is that outcome to actually occur?
* How can you find out more about this situation?
* What actions can you take should this situation
occur?
* Do you have a plan of action or strategy?
* What’s the worst that could happen? How can you
prepare for that?
* Who can support you if this situation should occur?
* Are you preparing for the future or are you trying
to predict the future?
2. With plan or strategy in mind, focus on what you
can do right now. Some questions to get you started:
* What is happening now, that thinking about the
future is helping you avoid?
* What are your concerns about the future telling you
about what you have now, that you value?
* What is something you can do right now, that will
help ease your mind?
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Joanne Recommends
Don’t let your budget woes get in the way of your
success. If you are short on funds (or not) take
advantage of my 30-minute Green Light
session/consultation, available only to Cadence
subscribers. I’ll work with you to change a red light
in your business or in your life, to a green light.
This is gratis; it’s my way of making my services more
accessible in these difficult times and to help
demonstrate how coaching can make an impact. Take
action and schedule your Green Light session. It’s
fast and easy to claim a spot.
http://my.timedriver.com/KS1K2
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Success Made Simple (SMS) Tip
ASK for what you want. Asking is not begging, nor is
it demanding. It’s just a simple request.
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Ask the Coach
Do you have a burning question I can help you with?
Click here to Ask the Coach
mailto:JoanneH@intandemcoaching.com
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Joanne's Hype-Free Zone
Disclosure: Many of my recommendations use an
affiliate link, which means I get a small (often
miniscule) commission if you purchase using the link I
provide. I never recommend products or services that I
would not be willing to purchase myself (if I don’t
already own it).
All you introverts with online businesses, this is for
you:
Join Tracey Lawton on September 2 where she will share
with you how to eliminate the overwhelm and
frustration of running your online solo service
business. I’ve recommended Tracey before and I
continue to do so; I’ve gotten great tips from her
teleclasses, and I was so impressed I have now hired
her as my online marketing VA.
On this no-charge call you'll learn some valuable tips
that will allow you to automate and streamline your
business, such as how to:
create structure and organization in your business
manage your time so that you can do more of what you
love create systems that draw clients to you
Tracey will also share with you details of her
upcoming Easy Office Organization TAKE ACTION Group,
where she will personally teach you step-by-step how
you too can create your systemized, streamlined, and
automated business.
Go here to register and get all the details. Even if
you cannot attend the live call you'll be sent a link
to listen to the audio afterwards.
http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=836998
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to forward this newsletter onto anyone who you think
might enjoy it.
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Thanks so much!