"Cadence" In Tandem Coaching's Newsletter
Web: http://www.InTandemCoaching.com
Email: mailto:JoanneH@intandemcoaching.com
Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/intandem
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Note from Joanne
Hello!
Well, here it is, October already! Where did the time
go? At the Hunold household, we’re getting ready for
Halloween: Alexander is going to wear a chicken
costume (I don’t know where he got that idea, but he
insisted) and I am going to be a 1920s flapper. We’re
going to wear our costumes and participate in an event
called Freaky 5K Run & Festivus, in north Phoenix.
On a more serious note, it will soon be time for me to
start planning my 2010 business year. I know I want to
offer more programs and services, for example a spa
retreat customized for introverts. As any introvert
would approach this planning process, I first want to
research – what do my potential clients want? Be on
the lookout for an email from me, inviting you, my
loyal readers, to answer a few survey questions. I’m
looking forward to developing some exciting, fun and
effective programs that meet your needs exactly. So
when you get that email, please take the survey and
don’t hold back: Tell me what you want, what you
really really want!
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Feature Article The 3 Hidden Benefits of Limiting
Beliefs
Unless you are extremely advanced in your personal
development path, you have some limiting beliefs. We
all do. You know, the kind of beliefs that either stop
you in your tracks, hold you back, or slow you down.
The kind of beliefs that you typically do not
verbalize, perhaps because you are not aware of them
on a conscious level.
Yet, even when we are aware of our limiting beliefs
and we realize we want to change them, or let them go;
we find it really hard to do so. Why is that? I
believe that it’s because these limiting beliefs have
an upside as well; some hidden benefits. In order to
release a limiting belief, first become aware of the
“payoff” and then find another way to satisfy the need
that the payoff is fulfilling.
Some common limiting beliefs:
1. I’m not good enough.
2. I’m not ready.
3. I don’t know enough to…
4. I can’t do X because there are people who do it
much better than I.
5. I have to wait until I am sure that this will
work/that this is the right choice.
6. I’m too old/young/fat/weak/stupid/etc to do…
Some common hidden benefits:
1. The belief helps you avoid something.
2. The belief gets you “off the hook.”
3. The belief maintains your status quo; keeps you
where you are, safe and comfortable.
Consider the example of “I’m not good enough.” You
know how it stops you: you hesitate, procrastinate or
just don’t go after what you want. You don’t ask for
that job, that promotion, that sale. Why, because you
are “not good enough;” you know the answer will be
“no.” Why bother?
Let’s look at how that belief benefits you: you get to
avoid rejection, you get to avoid the discomfort of
asking. Perhaps asking for a promotion means you need
to do some preparation, for example preparing a list
of your recent accomplishments, summarizing your
reasons for why you deserve the promotion. Well, that
takes work. Believing you are not good enough (and
therefore you are not going to ask) means you also get
to avoid doing all that prep work. Believing you are
not good enough gets you off the hook; it absolves you
of personal responsibility (well really nothing
absolves you of personal responsibility, but this can
trick you into thinking you are off the hook).
Hmm, the benefits are starting to look pretty enticing
aren’t they? Being aware of the upside, as well as the
downside, is the first step in releasing old beliefs,
beliefs that may not be serving you well. Can you find
another way to get those benefits without resorting to
the limiting belief? In the example above, can you
find another way to avoid rejection, or a way to
lessen its sting, that also allows you to believe that
you are indeed good enough? Are you so absolutely sure
that you are going to be rejected? If you are
rejected, will that feel as bad as the feeling you get
when you put yourself down?
You hold on to beliefs as long as they serve you in
some way. So focus on how the belief serves you as
well as how it hinders you. You might just identify a
need that must be satisfied (for example to feel
“safe”) before you can progress. Expanding your limits
is not a one-time act; it is a life-long process if
you choose (and remember, it is a choice) to step up
to the plate.
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Joanne Recommends
Last call for Green Light sessions! I will continue to
offer Green Light sessions until the end of the year,
but this is my last message highlighting the no-cost-
to-you service. After that, I will reassess whether to
continue this service into 2010.
To schedule your 30-minute session, click here
http://my.timedriver.com/KS1K2
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Inspiration/Motivation Corner
My life is my message. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
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Ask the Coach
Do you have a burning question I can help you with?
Click here to Ask the Coach
mailto:JoanneH@intandemcoaching.com
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Joanne's Hype-Free Zone
I’ve been thinking a lot about self-doubt and why
introverts seem to suffer from it more often than
extroverts. (That is not a scientific, evidence-based
statement of fact; it is my observation and opinion).
I don’t have an answer to why, but I do have a
recommendation on what to do about it: self-
acceptance is key. Here’s a resource I’ve recommended
before:
Taming Your Gremlin (Revised Edition): A Surprisingly
Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way
http://tinyurl.com/dfrq5n
I have an earlier edition of this book, that I’ve read
several times (it’s a short read). I just ordered a
more recent sequel by the same author:
A Master Class in Gremlin-Taming(R): The Absolutely
Indispensable Next Step for Freeing Yourself from the
Monster of the Mind http://tinyurl.com/yz698nn
Disclosure: Many of my recommendations use an
affiliate link, which means I get a small (often
miniscule) commission if you purchase using the link I
provide. I never recommend products or services that I
would not be willing to purchase myself (if I don’t
already own it).
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Cadence grows by "word of email" so please feel free
to forward this newsletter onto anyone who you think
might enjoy it.
http://www.yourtellafriend.com/page/1457/tellafriend
Thanks so much!