In Tandem Coaching
Enjoy the Ride!
Cadence, July 7, 2009 
Cadence July 7 2009

  "Cadence"
 In Tandem Coaching's Newsletter

 Web:  http://www.InTandemCoaching.com
 Email: mailto:JoanneH@intandemcoaching.com
 Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/intandem

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Note from Joanne

 Hello %$firstname$%

 As an introvert, I am not a fan of big crowds, large
 social events, or most networking functions. However I
 do realize that if I want to have a successful
 business, I need to get my name and offerings “out
 there.”  This newsletter is one way I market myself;
 my website and blog are others (and yes I occasionally
 go to local networking events). In the future I plan
 to do some public speaking as well.

 I practice what I preach – which is to focus on my
 strengths and to ask myself what I want to do, rather
 than what I should do. That means, for now, I am
 focusing on my online presence. What this means for
 you is that you will soon see some changes from In
 Tandem Coaching – I’m getting a professional logo
 designed, along with website banner and other
 marketing material. I want to have a professional,
 consistent, online presence. Expect to see these
 changes in the next month or two.

 I’ve been thinking about my tag line also. I want it
 to reflect that I serve the unique needs of
 Introverts.  I could use some suggestions here; chime
 in if you want to!

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Feature Article

 Answer 8 Questions to Break Free from Perfectionism
 and Get It Done

 I have a not-so-surprising confession to make: I’m a
 perfectionist. If my correspondence is any indication,
 many introverts share this trait (and I suspect many
 extroverts as well).

 Perfectionism serves us in many ways: it motivates us
 to make our best effort; it results in high-quality,
 accurate work; it fuels our self-esteem (who wants to
 think of herself as mediocre?). However, there are
 also many ways in which perfectionism does not serve
 us: it prevents us from completing (or sometimes
 starting) a project; it sets us up for failure
 (because the “perfect” result is never attained) –
 which then damages our self-esteem. So there you have
 it: perfectionism can be a double-edged sword that
 simultaneously helps and hurts our self-esteem. This
 is one reason we find it so hard to “let go” of our
 perfectionist tendencies – we may be aware of the
 downside, but we don’t want to lose the upside.

 So what’s a conflicted introvert to do? My
 recommendations (I have used these for myself with
 moderate success):

 * Recognize that perfection is an ideal, not
 necessarily an attainable goal.

 * Keep the desire for the ideal, but drop the
 insistence on it (i.e. make it a want, not a need).

 * Stop beating yourself up for being a perfectionist –
 it probably helped you get where you are today.

 * At the same time, stop using perfectionism as an
 excuse to not start or complete something (yeah it
 feels uncomfortable, but it gets easier with
 practice).

 * Distinguish between doing your best (which is within
 your control) and doing a perfect job (which may not
 be within your control).

 OK, so you want to stop using perfectionism as an
 excuse, but you still can’t seem to get things done. I
 did not really address the “how” of changing what is
 probably a well- established habit for you. Here is
 where your introvert processing comes in handy: try
 reasoning your way to a new behavior. The next time
 you are faced with a project you can’t begin, or can’t
 complete because you want it to be “perfect,” set
 aside some thinking time and ask yourself the
 following questions:

 1. How will I know this is perfect? (What objective
 measure can I use?)

 2. Can I make it perfect in the time allotted to this
 task/project?

 3. What’s the worst that could happen if I release my
 imperfect product/creative effort/report?

 4. Is this the best I can do right now?

 5. What can I improve upon next time?

 6. What can I learn from exposing my imperfect effort
 to others?

 7. What benefit will others get from my imperfect
 effort?

 8. What am I avoiding by withholding until everything
 is perfect?

 Answering these questions will help you clarify your
 own boundaries for how much/how long you are willing
 to work on something before you declare it finished.
 Having identified a specific stopping point gets you
 out of the stuck-zone of endless “perfecting” cycles.
 At the very least, you will gain some insight into
 what’s really holding you back. Chances are it’s not
 perfectionism per se, but whatever your perfectionism
 is protecting you from.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Joanne Recommends

 Need some extra help with overcoming your
 perfectionism? My Road Test coaching package is a
 short-term (one month) introductory level service.
 Available for new clients only. For more info, send me
 an email at mailto:JoanneH@intandemcoaching.com

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Success Made Simple (SMS) Tip

 Focus on your strengths – remember, no one is good at
 everything. Your weaknesses are someone else’s
 strengths – so partner with others whose skills
 compliment yours, or delegate or outsource.

 If you want to improve upon a skill for the pleasure
 of learning, then do so. But save your energy and time
 for mastery on those skills where you already have a
 natural talent.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Ask the Coach

 Do you have a burning question I can help you with?

 Click here to Ask the Coach
 mailto:JoanneH@intandemcoaching.com

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Joanne's Hype-Free Zone

 A blogger’s take:  10 Steps to Conquer Perfectionism
 http://tinyurl.com/qc8ykt

 Perfectionism Test offered by Psychology Today. You
 get a score from 0 to 100 at no charge; optional paid
 report goes into more detail.  If you are already
 aware that you are a perfectionist, the basic score
 does not give you much new information, except perhaps
 to quantify how extreme you are (or are not). I was
 curious about the paid report, but not curious enough
 to part with my hard-earned funds – so I can’t give
 you feedback on the paid portion of the test.
 http://tinyurl.com/yrzva6

 Cadence grows by "word of email" so please feel free
 to forward this newsletter onto anyone who you think
 might enjoy it.
 http://www.yourtellafriend.com/page/1457/tellafriend

 Thanks so much!

 

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