"Cadence" In Tandem Coaching's Newsletter
Web: http://www.intandemcoaching.com/
Email: mailto:JoanneH@intandemcoaching.com
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Note from Joanne
Hello!
I’ve been working on improving my fitness by
increasing my daily activities and finding outdoor
activities I enjoy. Actually, there are a lot of
activities I enjoy, but I have not made fitness a
priority until recently (and yes I also intend to lose
some weight as well). Here’s a photo of me (I’m the
one on the left) at my most recent activity: the Safe
Baby Haven 5K Run/Walk in Glendale, AZ.
I participate in a running camp (some run; I jog) two
evenings per week; the other women in the photo are
also camp participants. I’m so proud to report that I
placed 3rd in my age group at the 5K! This is the
first time I have ever placed in any event. You may
not be able to tell from the photo, but I am holding
up three fingers in honor of my accomplishment.
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Feature Article
Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone; How Often, How
Far?
How many times have you read or heard the following
(or something similar)?: Move out of your comfort
zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel
awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.
~ Brian Tracy This is a great, succinct bit of advice,
and I agree with it up to a point. In my opinion,
however, this advice can backfire if applied too often
or too far. Yes, you grow when you step outside your
comfort zone. If you do it consistently, the
boundaries of your comfort zone expand. However, if
you step too far out, too often, you may end up a
drained mess!
My experience has been that the whole growth/expansion
of comfort zone is a two-steps-forward, one-step-back
progression. It’s not like I tried something new ONCE,
felt awkward ONCE and suddenly leapt forward into a
new comfort level. It took consistent “doing things
that felt uncomfortable” before I made gradual
(emphasis on gradual) progress. And yes, doing so used
up a great deal of my precious introvert energy.
My take as an introvert living in a predominately
extroverted society is this: Introverts, just by
living and interacting socially, are very often
operating outside their comfort zone already!
Do we really need more boundary-pushing than we
already do on a daily basis? This is something I think
most people, introverts and extroverts alike,
overlook. The assumption seems to be that we all live
inside our comfort zones most of the time, and need to
be motivated to expand them. I disagree. I firmly
believe there is value in trying something new,
acquiring a new skill, and becoming comfortable in a
new arena. I also firmly believe that there is nothing
wrong with embracing what you already find
comfortable.
Yes, you can grow by overcoming fear, pushing a
boundary, etc. But is that the ONLY way to grow? What
about learning to recognize and accept the gifts you
already have (by the way if it’s a gift, you can
better believe using that gift is well within your
comfort zone)? What about developing self-trust and
the confidence that you are good enough, just as you
are? That’s the kind of growth I prefer; it involves a
lot less pushing and forcing, a lot more reflection
(we innies love that), joy and ease.
OK, so you’ve probably figured out I’m not going to
answer the questions: how often, how far, in terms of
stepping outside your comfort zone. That’s not my role
as a coach. My intention here is to get you thinking
(we like to do that, don’t we?) about what’s right for
you, because, of course, the answer is different for
each person.
My final thought on this: Don’t equate “difficulty”
with “moral superiority,” or “ease” with
“inferiority.”
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Success Made Simple (SMS)Tip
Get off your buts!
Eliminate the phrase “yes, but…” from your vocabulary.
This phrase sends conflicting messages to your brain.
“Yes” signals action; “but” signals wait or no action.
Tell yourself either “yes” or “no” consistently and
you will spend less time feeling confused and/or stuck
in analysis paralysis.
Bonus tip: before you kick your but to the curb, pay
attention to it; your but is giving you important
information about what’s stopping you, AS YOU PERCEIVE
IT. Removing the obstacle becomes your next action
step.
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Ask the Coach
I’m excited to introduce the “Ask the Coach” column.
Here’s how it works: you, my readers, can ask me a
question via email (Tip: put “Ask the Coach” in the
subject line to ensure it gets my attention). I will
answer one question each issue. I will reveal the
question, but I will not reveal the identity of the
questioner.
I’m curious as to what YOU are curious about, so at
this point I’m not going to define any boundaries; if
the questions coming in are outside my scope; I’ll let
you know and provide more guidance. I hope you
participate; I want to interact with my readers (and
show off my savvy research skills). Click Here to Ask
the Coach
mailto:JoanneH@intandemcoaching.com
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Joanne's Hype-Free Recommendation Zone
The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert
World by Marti Olsen Laney. This is the book that
opened my eyes to my natural tendencies and
preferences as an introvert. I found it especially
liberating and validating to read about the brain-body
circuits. We really are wired differently! This book
helped me to see how to work with my brain instead of
fighting against it. I no longer view myself as a slow
thinker, rather as a thorough, deliberative thinker.
http://tinyurl.com/cyl32q
A classic essay: Caring for Your Introvert, and a
follow-up interview: Introverts of the World, Unite!
with the author, Jonathan Rauch. Most of you have
probably already read the original essay, as I see it
cited frequently. But just in case: if you haven’t
seen it yet, enjoy.
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200602u/introverts
Cadence grows by "word of email" so please feel free
to forward this newsletter to anyone who you think
might enjoy it.
Thanks so much!
http://www.yourtellafriend.com/page/1457/tellafriend